Charm is deceptive and beauty is fleeting...

Have you ever asked God to examine your mind and help bring forth all of the un-truths you're believing in your life? If you have, you know how ridiculously rough it is. It's something I'm going through right now:

I struggle with proclaiming my love for Jesus outwardly, so God sends me to a conference to become a leader with my chapter of Campus Crusades and has me sharing my faith in my speech class and elsewhere on campus.

I struggle with feeling insecure and jealous of things I have no control over and often want to manipulate situations to a favorable outcome for me, so God sends people in my life to give me the opportunity to realize that trusting in Him and His plan is the far better option. How could any plan that I would manipulate even compare to what God can do in my life if I just stay patient and say, "That's not what matters, Kristin. God has a plan and it's not time yet."

Of course I am in a constant battle with these and many other things ALL the time, but I'm finally starting to realize that as soon as the worry sets in and I start to panic, all I need is to talk to God and ask for peace in my heart and mind. The anxiety, heartache, depression, etc. will subside eventually. Yes, sometimes I need to cry and get frustrated and scream... and sometimes I take a really long time to truly believe the words when I give myself 'pep talks'... and sometimes my heart hurts regardless of knowing that I can't change the outcome of a situation or manipulate it to make it what I want... but that's the beauty of life.

It's a learning process all the time. God uses everything in our lives to make us who we are. I could say that I've made a lot of mistakes in my life, and maybe in some ways I have... but in God's eyes they were opportunities to make me a better person with a deeper love for Him. Had I never experienced those 'mistakes' I wouldn't be who I am today surrounded by some of the greatest people I've ever met. Thank you, God for all of the 'mistakes' that led me here to You.